05/03/2017

NEED A HELPING HAND? | My Weirdest Google Search Hits

My Weirdest Google Search Hits

Writing a blog demands you to be quite aware of your Search Engine Optimization - SEO. During my time as a blogger I've followed my Google Search activity with much amusement, because believe me, people google the craziest things! Sometimes, fortunately, they land on my blog with these keywords. People ask questions. Worry not. Now, after all this time googling and desperately looking for advice, I have provided you with answers to Top 10 most common, rather weird Google Search hits to The Strayling. Off we go!

1. Multiculturalism Pros and Cons
This is by far the most popular search term leading you in here, so let's look into it. I don't usually go into politics outside my scholarly entourage, but now that the cat's on the table, let's address it like the mix of a Trinity College Dublin postgraduate student in migration and conflict studies and a feel-good blogger that I am.

Pros: Needless to day, everyone gets to be themselves. Usually the pros mention this 'enrichment' aspect, as in, cultural diversity allows us to engage more with other cultures and this way teach us the many ways of perceiving different attributes of life from food to religion to social interaction. The host society gets to see a wide range of sub-cultures being born in it, and migrants can comfortably reside in their new country without the fear or losing their heritage or being forced to blend into a homogenous mass that is the perceived 'Dutchness' or whatever the country we're talking about. Let's take Canada for example. Their immigration policy is based on the idea of 'mosaic': small pieces create a large, colourful entity that we know as 'Canada'. A happy immigrant is a contributing immigrant, as they say.
Cons: When not carried out properly, multiculturalism can create segregation. Let's take this bunch of Chinese immigrants and put them into the China Town. Now do your Chinese thing. No need to blend in. Let's celebrate your difference. Multiculturalism in its worst makes us ask what does it mean to be 'Chinese', how do we perform this Chineseness and why do we have to caricature ourselves like this anyway. It isolates minorities into ethnic communities separate from the majority population and stalls the integration process where the migrant gets to properly interact with the host society and feel 'at home'. Mind you, this is the case only when proper integration policies aren't implemented and migrants are left to handle their integration process by themselves. (Attention: integration =/= assimilation!)

2. Instagram Follow Button
What kind of Follow button do you want? You mean like the preview of my insta I have on the sidebar? You can head to SnapWidget and get one of your own. Or you just want a javascript button to easily let your readers follow your Instagram with one click? You could try AddThis and get a readymade code for your button. If you want a button that just takes the visitor to your Instagram account without autofollow - like I have on the sidebar with all those small social media icons - you have to do some crafting yourself, but let me get you started:

You could head to SeekLogo and download a vector image of the button to your computer. Change the size and edit the colour as you please with Photoshop, or whatever it is that you prefer using. Upload the image to your domain and make it into a link to your Instagram account. If you want a hover effect, edit another photo with e.g. a different colour and upload it to your domain. Now write the code so that when the visitor hovers the image, the second photo will appear. Like so:

<a href="https://www.instagram.com/YOUR USER NAME HERE" target="_blank"><img onmouseout="this.src='NORMAL IMAGE URL HERE'" onmouseover="this.src='HOVER IMAGE URL HERE'" src="NORMAL IMAGE URL HERE"/></a>

There must be hundred other ways to do it, but that's an easy one.

3. Must See Vancouver
So you're travelling to Vancouver and searching for tips? Look no further, I have just the right blog post for you. Here: 4 MUST-SEE SPOTS IN VANCOUVER. You're gonna love it. I loved it. I loved it so much I could live there happily ever after.

4. Looking for Long-Distance Relationship
Now hold on a minute. Are you saying you're looking for a long-distance relationship? Or just looking for ways to cope with it? Because if we're talking about the first one here, you're out of your damn mind. Why would you intentionally try and find a long-distance relationship? It's hell on earth guys! Stick to normal dating and if that monster lurking into your lives becomes inevitable, you can refer to my LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP 101 blog post for some survival tips.

But I repeat: you don't want to have a long-distance with someone just for the crack of it. Get a pen pal.

My Weirdest Google Search Hits

5. Fairmont le Château Frontenac / Québec Castle Hotel 
Ah, le Château Frontenac! Québec's most well-known landmark. It's all things gorgeous. If you want to book a stay there, head to their homepage: Fairmont le Château Frontenac
If you're interested in taking a sneak-peek inside and read my review of it, check out my blog post:
FAIRMONT LE CHÂTEAU FRONTENAC: QUÉBEC'S FRONT PAGE

6. Irish Slang 
This is a popular one! People strand in here in the hopes of finding out how to talk like an Irish. First of all, let me offer you my BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO IRISH SLANG post to get you started.

Now, four specific words give me hits. Let me help you with your queries. Mind you, there are multiple Irish English dialects, but it's your lucky day since my Irish friend is from Cork and that's by far the craziest, most bizarre accent of them all. He's here today to provide you with answers:

Craic - A universal English equivalent for craic? It's 'crack', as in 'fun' or 'enjoyment'. You might hear an Irish say 'Well tis gun be good craic', in other words, he expects it to be fun.
Hello - Saying hi people generally say 'sup', 'sss'da craic?' [whats the craic?] 'how's da form', 'how's she hanging', 'any scéal' [scale, scéal = Irish for story] but generally insults are also accepted, like 'sup scuts' [scut = disreputable person] or 'hey motherfuckers'.
Goodbye - People say 'slán' [Irish for goodbye] 'talk cha', 'safe journey', 'gwan', 'gluck', 'fuck off so', 'il talk cha', I say 'later bitch' to a group of friends quite a bit. 'See ya' being an obvious one.
Friend - Usually I'd use the negative like: 'they're not a total dickhead like'. Generally you would call someone 'sound' and then someone would ask them do you know them well. If you do, it means they're your friend, if you don't, then you might either be hedging your bets not wanting to sound like a dick or you might consider becoming friends with them. But you wouldn't really say someone is my 'friend', you would say they're sound or yee hang out. You could also use the word 'langer', it's a mainstay in Cork and can be a harsh insult or a term for endearment depending on the context. You can be a langer which results from 'acting the langer', or it can be dismissive if someone's 'a bit of a langer alright'. Or it can be used playfully without negative connotations.

You can also listen to The Langer Song on Youtube if you want to get more immersed to this real Cork spirit.

7. Emporter Conjugation
Unbelievably so, my blog is now a destination for French grammar assistance. Luckily I have one native-speaking boyfriend here with me and he's ready to help you with this one:

Pronoun Conjugation: Present
J' Emporte
Tu Emportes
Il / Elle Emporte
Nous Emportons
Vous Emportez
Ils / Elles Emportent

8. Living in Finland Pros and Cons
Pros: It's safe. Free public healthcare. Good and free education (unless you're a non-EU university student, sorry). Low crime rate. High life expectancy rate. Highest gender equality rates in the world. Beautiful girls (I have to cheer for the home team a bit, right?). Houses are well built and insulated so you won't freeze during winter. Wonderful nature. Technologically advanced.
Cons: The language is hard to learn and I bet you can't find a job if you don't speak it - unless you work in IT or such. It's effin' dark during winter. It's effin' cold during winter. It's effin' cold sometimes even during summer. People like to pout in solitude and mind their own business. Racism. Everything is expensive (mind you, the salary is correspondent!). Everyone wants to live in Helsinki and there aren't enough apartments. Finland is actually pretty hard to reach flight-wise, so if you enjoy your frequent trips to Europe, Ryanair won't be there to save you. Did I mention it's really, really dark?

9. Cringyness
Yes. You're in the right place. Welcome.

10. How to Irritate a Citizen of Each European
This is my favourite. My blog is now a source of hatred and ethnic stereotyping. Sadly I can't provide you with all the answers as this blog post would become too long, but let me get you started with the two nations closest to my heart here and now:
Finns: Call them a Swede. Tell them Nokia is Japanese. Ask if they speak Russian as their first language. Casually touch them during a conversation.
Irish: Call them British. Tell them Ireland is exactly like Britain. Assume they have a British monarchy. Actually, just talk about the British.

 What are the pros and cons of multiculturalism in your opinion? How about living in Finland? Do you have more questions? Share your thoughts in the comments below!


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